Mayday musings

Like any other employee, 1st of May was waited with eager expectation of an extended weekend, with the key mpango being going to shags. But looking at the critical essence of the Labour Day holiday, and checking out the news in the evening, there is a clear indication that being a labourer is not exactly the best thing in life.

The wisest man said the best thing in life is to eat, drink and enjoy his work. Unfortunately for most Kenyan labourers, they neither enjoy their work nor can they make enough to eat and drink (in the sense of comfort). Sadly the scenes in Uhuru Park yesterday were clear that the labourer is more or less a slave to the masters (the guys in expensive suits seated on the dias). And with the global economic crisis, the demonstrations in other more developed countries were a reflection of the same.

Am I any different? Truth is I'm no better than the labourers. Almost 4 years after campus, I'm still existing on a single source of income (business plans still on soft copy at best) and my sole investments trading at 40% below purchase price (equities were recommended as the best investment when young). And this is despite reading Rich Dad Poor Dad, Richest Man in Babylon and currently Think & Grow Rich.

Sadly I figure that I'm more a contributor than a solution to the unfairly skewed distribution of wealth in the world. Consider, that I'd pay less than minimum wage to any employee who would feature in my biashara for starters, let alone the cash paid to the lady who does our laundry every week. And listening to my colleagues hoping for bonuses and increments, I wonder whether we are trapped in the employment illusion, not aware that we are being played for far less than what we are worth. Maybe there should be a rule that we should all be self employed within time x of clearing campus, get us out of our comfort zones and creating wealth for the country.

Interviews: Opinion of one of the panelists

As part of my 'acting' manger stint, I've had the priviledge to interview some 20 odd job seekers in the last couple of weeks. Now, I haven't been in a job interview in 3 years, so some insights were gathered even as I had the pleasure of deciding the destiny of many (sounds powerful), while being on the other side of the table.

The typical interview involves the cusory introduction, you give us a brief of your educational and career background, we attack you with questions based on your c.v., we then shift to questions about the job, and finally throw in a couple of puzzles to see your analytical skills. Then we give you the chance to ask one or two questions, before the HR representative closes with the usual 'We'll get back to you in a few weeks'.

Here are some insights:

1. Don't put anything on your c.v. if you can't defend it. The fun one is putting French, we'll start the interview in that language! Usually, the jamaa is caught flat footed. You say you are IT, we'll give you an IT problem.

2. The shorter and more precise the c.v. is the better. Focus on job skills and exposure. Anything else such as dining hall prefect is a waste of paper. Save the trees, stick to 2 pages max.

NB: We sifted 100+ cv's to get the 20 interviewees so I cannot over-emphasize this point.

3. Make sure you know what the job is about even if it's just general knowledge. Use google or human networks to know. And don't use one of your 2 questions to ask directly, it's a minus. If necessary, ask tactfully e.g. what are the day to day activities of the job like?

4. Identify an ally in the panel and flow with them. Most of the decisions made were based on a general concensus with one direct supporter (usually the big boss). I'm not sure how someone becomes likeable but guess if we like you, odds are in your favour. I saw a guy with double masters being snubbed for a fresh undergrad. Life ain't fair, but remember we'll be working with you for years to come so we need to choose the right person to flow with the crew (race, tribe, religion have nothing to do with this, just personality - emotional quotient).

5. Be confident, but not cocky. If you don't know the answer, say so, confidently. Arrogance will get your cv blacklisted for the next million years.

6. Finally, if you've sold spinach for the last 3 years, attempts to convince us that you can switch to repairing kitchenware will most likely fall on deaf years. We turned away good guys even if they'd done their research and got most answers correct, so long as their career trend didn't fit with our objectives. They'd probably use us as a stepping stone to get to the spinach selling department.

"The fastest runner does not always win the race, the strongest soldier does not always win the battle, the wisest does not always have food, the smartest does not always become wealthy, and the talented one does not always recieve praise. TIME and CHANCE happen to everyone" Ecclesiastes 10:11

Happy Hunting!

I should have gone out partying

In what can only be described as an amazing turnaround of events, my boss, who last week absolutely rubbished my performance for the last 6 months, decided to UPGRADE my performance ratings!!!

He stated that though I clearly didn't meet my objectives, the effort and work I'd put in all round couldn't be reflected in the poor scores I'd given myself. So he was upgrading them from poor to fair (which is what most jamaas score, guaranteeing a pay hike), but expects me to do better come 6 months time.

Now ain't that a corporate miracle or what? Halleluyah!!!!

Kazi mingi

You know I'm overworked when:

- By mid morning, my hair is a shaggy mess.
- I only know my sis is still existing coz I see her car parked at night as I get home.
- My workmates keep telling me I look stressed, like every other day.
- I've recently updated my music collection on my work laptop, but I feel like I've heard the songs too many times already.
- The senior colleagues tell me to get married so that I have an excuse to leave work before sunset.
- I've cash lying around coz I don't have time to go to the stock broker.
- I went for lunch at 5 pm last Friday.
- I've no clue what movies are showing currently.
- I respond to the question "How's work?" with "Mob sana" or "Crazy!"
- I have two lane highways for myself on my way home from work.
- I step in for a colleague so that he can simamia his pal's wedding on a sato.
- I missed my pal's wedding jana coz I was at work, arriving at 6.30 pm to find guys harakishad the reception coz of rain.
- I'm updating my blog on a sunday afternoon after completing some work.
- I already know where I'll be on Moi Day morning and next Sato morning, and almost definately next Sunday morning.

Despite all this, I'm actually getting to like my job. Give thanks for what you do, and how you are doing it (or how it's doing you) whatever the weather...