Status Update

Well, I'm still alive, so that's a good start. Guess adjusting to this new phase of life has taken it's toll on my blogging mojo. But we will be back, trust me.

My old man passed away in Dec. Have really struggled dealing with death, don't get me started on the fact that I haven't gotten over my mom's passing. So twin blow is hitting me, wave after wave of sadness and regret. They were both so young, and I totally blew my opportunities to really be a blessing. Life sucks without them!!!

Graciously, God cared enough to ensure I have a loving wife & supportive siblings, relatives and friends to stand by me at this time. Yaani, ningekuwa down mbaya!!!

I've just competed another successful stint as acting manager. This one was particularly enriching because of interacting with heads of departments and the director. Must admit, you can envy their perks, but boy these guys must earn their keep with tonnes of brain sweat. Oh, and I'm heading to Egypt next Sunday for a research trip. I know the song says "sirudi misri tena" but a man finds his destiny in the road he took to avoid it.

Cheers!!

Rest in Peace Mum

2009-06-10 08:00:00. We got the call, come quick and take her to hospital. On our way we were told, go straight to hospital. And at the hospital we were told, she's left us. And that's when our family's worst ever nightmare began.

The postmortem results showed that she'd had a heart attack (yeah, just like MJ) due to atherosclerosis i.e. the arteries bringing blood to her heart were clogged with cholesterol, hence the heart muscle cells died slowly over the last couple of years due to reduced oxygen supply. Since mum had been quite healthy all her life (and not overweight), it came as a shock for all of us.

Funeral was the other Friday (19th) and it was a really rough ride for the husband, daughters (the one in the US couldn't come however), son and grand daughter left behind. But by God's grace, and the love, support and contributions of relatives, neighbours, friends, workmates and strangers, we are still here, still standing, trying to move on.

So what was mum like? A month shy of her 60th birthday (her birth cert was less 4 years though), she was a retired secretary who took up poultry farming, and had also explored business opportunities in Southern Sudan. She was a strong believer, committed to prayer and counselling the many women she came across in the hood and beyond. She loved to laugh (was the founder chairperson of her chama called 'Mitheko' group) and looked out for the best in everyone.

My best memory of her? When she sided with me and not my high school teachers during Form Four 1st Term open day. I'd performed poorly, mainly because I was more focussed on interschool games. I told her (in my capacity of vice capt) that our hockey team needed to make it to the national finals and that I'd pick up my studies after the ball games. Turns out our team made it to the national final itself, and I got the highest possible grade in high school. And that's what any kid would want in a mum: to believe in his/her dreams.

I'll follow my dreams all the way through, and I know I'll make it. Sadly, she won't be here to share in my success, in as much as she deserved it.

I'll miss you mum. RIP.

Drink at your own peril

Sent on a work assignment at the Maasai Mara last weekend, I encountered a scene that will forever haunt me regarding drinking with pals. I never knew it was such a hazard when I saw the danger of hanging out at the water hole even when your mates are around you...






Sad fact was that the rest of the crew continued drinking like nothing had happened. Please drink responsibly and stay safe ;-)

Death, death and near death

Death

Unfortunately the reality of the violence in Kenya has hit closer to home. Last week, a campus classmate was going to his hometown in Kisii on leave and was attacked somewhere on the road. I've been informed that his body was later found in Sotik, he'd been shot dead by arrows.

Death

My last remaining grandparent passed on last week. Almost 90 years old and with several great grand children, I believe he lived a full life. He was an inspiration and constantly encouraged me to work hard and be a success. The funeral is tomorrow.

Near Death

The highlight of my holiday in Uganda involved a 44m bungee jump into the Nile. Standing on top of the platform gives you a fright of a lifetime, and the adrenaline rush when stepping off the top lasts for several hours!!! That was the most exhilarating experience of my short life.

Red in the colour of our flag...

The title of my blog ensures that I'm very much part and parcel of what is going on in my country. And I share in the sadness and agony that the rest of the blogsphere is experiencing regarding Kenya at this difficult time. Riots, violence, chaos, bloodshed, ethnic cleansing and many other words struggle to describe the state of affairs. Friends stranded upcountry, unable to travel back. House arrest as wars between cops and protesters take place outside our estate. And the worst ever holiday season in everyone's life.

Having been brought up in a cosmopolitan manner (middle class, urban mixed estate, excellent sheng, halting mother tongue), I'm lucky not to have serious tribal biases, apart from the usual stereotyping e.g. kyuks love money, kaos are colour blind etc.

So for me it's difficult to comprehend what's happening. And unfortunately I'm struggling with my conscience as to my role in the cause (and solution) to the mess we are in.

- Did I vote wisely?
- Why am I in the offfice instead of being in the streets protesting for justice?
- Am I praying hard enough for peace (and is that enough)?
- Will I give enough for the humanitarian aid causes (and is that enough)?
- Have I put any pressure on those 2 individuals holding our country hostage to come out of their posh offices/homes and go out into the country and see the effect of their actions/words?

Too much vibe, we can only hope that things return to normal (if that is ever possible when life and livelihood is lost). God have mercy on us, we were foolish 5 years ago to sing 'Yote yawezekana...'

They see me rolling...

It's been three weeks since I've had the priveledge of enjoying company resources i.e. mobility. And it was only by a stroke of luck that some jamaa was moved to our dept and since he had a ride from there, took one of our new rides and so I ended up hopping between some of the vehicles in the fleet.

Reactions:

1. The watchmen
At digs, they stopped calling me 'ndugu', they call me 'bwana mkubwa'. Sad to say but they now expect bigger handouts from me, which is a surprise coz I wasn't giving out any when I was javing.

2. The big sister
Now with smaller car, she's resorted to using me as the full time errand boy. I've done everything from chauffering her daughter, drycleaning, meat etc. Is this love, is this love that I'm feeling?

3. The relaz
They are in awe. I'm trying to tell them, "Hii ni gari ya kampuni!" But it doesn't count in their books, all they know is that I've hit the big league.

4. The honeyz
a. Fly chic leaving estate in the morning:
Me: (Stopping the car a few metres after passing her) Where are you headed?
Her: Kenyatta (which is totally in the opposite direction from where I'm headed)
Me: (After a few seconds of logic vs emotional war) Hop in.
Turns out she's a pal of a pal. Which should make us?

b. Other fly chic neighbour
We got to know each other due to javving together, then she bought her own ride and I was reduced to nothing. Now she recognizes the brother, which is good for temporary ego boosting.

c. The occasional hook ups
People have to be dropped home after coffee. Which is sawa in terms of knowing where they actually live. But maybe expectations are becoming too high?

5. My mind
After what happened to Odegle a while ago, it is now a constant that my level of worrying has gone up a notch higher. When you are parked in town or church and your mind starts thinking 'Did I lock the car?' 'Has it been stolen/towed/vandalized/crashed into?', then for certain, I'm not at peace with this nice thing I have been entrusted with. I wonder whether all car owners/drivers feel the same way at the beginning?

All in all, it makes moving around a whole lot easier, so I'll be thankful and enjoy the ride while it lasts.



Point of concern:
A pal's dad, a workmate and a pal's new born kid have passed away in the last couple of weeks. It been difficult dealing with it. Appreciate life, won't you?

Bloodbath

Blood, blood and more blood. It's one big mess and I haven't got the guts, time and means to clean it up. Dead bodies splattered everywhere, but then it's all their fault. They should never have moved in the first place. Sure we are all different, and we have different needs. But when it comes to what I have and what I am, that's another story altogether.

Peaceful coexistence? I doubt it. Why couldn't they have stayed in their own land, instead of coming to mine? Fine, I could share my space with them, but they took it to a whole new level by going after me, disrupting my quiet time which has a negative effect on how I look, how I work and how I relate to people on a day to day basis.

Sadly, this was the last straw. Sure, there is talk about accepting others despite their differences, but truth be told, these invaders should never be left alive! We cannot and will not allow them the opportunity to take over what is ours, and especially thinking that our bodies are to be treated as their playgrounds.

I've left my bloodied weapon in plain sight that others will know that I'm not about to surrender my independence for the sake of others' enjoyment. I will fight for my right to be free, to be at peace and to be with my own. Even if it means that the state of my surroundings will be covered with their remains.

"This is where I fight! This is where they die!"



(The following was a description of the state of my bedroom after a rolled up Friday Nation newspaper collided with mosquitoes. All references to murder, genocide and the like should be considered as untrue and misplaced.)

Easter - Life & Death

The following chain of events took place 2 nights ago, and they have left me quite pensive as to whether it was just a weird case of coincidence.

1. I attended an ekklesia meeting, and the study was about the women in Jesus geneaology i.e. Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba and Mary, five women whose strange and dodgy background, reputation, actions and/or circumstances experienced were somehow key in bearing of children whose lineage directly influenced the birth of the Christ child.
2. After the meeting, two of us are at a stage in Kilimani, picking a mat to head to town, when we come across a guy and two ladies. The guy was carrying a baby and the ladies were crying. The guy and one of the ladies crossed the road while one lady stayed on the side we were. I figured we go ask her what the problem was. She tells us that it's her baby. We ask what is the problem in particular. In the midst of tears she tells us that the baby is dead. Apparently, they were on their way to hospital and the baby died in the mat on the way. So they'd alighted and were going back home, seeing no point in going to hospital. I had no words to say, could only mumble pole.

3. The book I'd borrowed from the host of the meeting that evening, whose title blazed in my face while I was heading home is titled "The Five People You Meet in Heaven." I'd asked my pal as we headed to town 'where do babies go when they die? even Bathsheba's baby who was 7 days old?'

I'm still very much shaken after that sequence of events, still wondering what the full implication is. As for now, I'm more keen to appreciate all the people in my life.You give and take away, blessed be Your name. I also came across this blog which coincidentally has something to do with this.

Happy Easter