Monday, July 21, 2008

ruracio: IPO comes home

With the eldest daughter a certified spinster and having a last born son clearly unable to figure out this love thing, my parents decided to cash in on the only remaining asset, my second born sis, a true measure of the benefits of diversified investment options. Of course, the eldest sibling and myself (being born and bred in the city) voiced our reservations regarding the disposal (considering that we had to raise additional capital to fund the process) but clearly no spoilt urban brats would stand in the way of the biggest payday for the folks.

As the happy couple are away in Obama land, the onus was on the dude's parents to visit our residence and clear the air on what happened to our daughter. So this past Saturday, we hosted an entourage of "Libyan investors" bearing gifts from afar (actually a supermarket along Jogoo Road). In preparation, my mom had lined up a first XV complete with the same number of subs, and the scrum (negotiatiators) had meet long in advance outlining their list of shareholder demands.

Saturday's affair went as follows: All were treated to a sumptous feast, an invited preacher delivered a long sermon, the families were introduced by name, the negotiation teams went into the living room to thrash out the details, sodas were then produced, and final prayers sent the guests home at night.

Now due to the afore mentioned reasons, I was not allowed anywhere near the consensus talks. But intimate sources reveal that the visitors had expressed gratitude on the warm reception, and after outlining their motives which did not raise opposition, proceeded to leave a 'female goat' behind as a sign of their commitment. A initial listing price was then agreed regarding the number of shares (goats), and the visitors also took a list drawn up of other 'licence requirements' necessary for completion of the deal, to be paid during the next meeting.

So is going public a viable option? Of course the advantages are numerous. The two families stand to gain in terms of social status and networks (I definately think our family will gain more than our fair share) and there's also the circulation of capital in the local economy (we gave our hard earned money, which fed the guests, who had carried gifts, which were shared out among my mom's friends who had worked hard to prepare for the day, and in the local where my dad and his friends would reflect on the new venture). Sadly though, I'm yet to see how I'll be compensated for the emotional trauma of losing a sister :-(

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At 7/21/2008 10:39 pm , Anonymous 31337 said...

we handed over my sis the other day too. strange these negotiations are, and i am yet to receive my share of the spoils to go towards the healing of my heart [read pay for my new laptop]

At 7/21/2008 10:51 pm , Anonymous ptah said...

mmmh... Hostile takeover?


At 7/21/2008 11:25 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

When you finally figure the love thing..we will help you racia also coz chances are if she is AFRICAN...the parents will have you do likewise. Thank you for your contributions and presence.

At 7/22/2008 9:11 am , Blogger odegle said...

quite a funny way to put it really. But watch out some keen eyes may see thin veiled gender bias in the story

At 7/22/2008 9:35 am , Blogger Seasons & Reasons said...

Really funny but usually serious affair. One I would detest to go through again basing on the results of the first one.

Glad you had fun

At 7/28/2008 1:52 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

zwacha kuzusha ata Whispers (one of my fav writers God rest his soul in peace)alijua pajero and investment were to one day bounce. i say take the bull by the horns and be happy [it would be easy to eat nyam chom than take the bull i recon] mzeeya i feel you

At 7/30/2008 10:19 pm , Blogger mwasjd said...

Your sis must be worth quite a bit if your share can pay for a laptop (your heart will definately be healed)...

We are bila choice here so takeover yes, but no hostilities.

She doesn't have to be AFRICAN you know, and then you'd get paid for me. You are welcome

Didn't mean to be sexist, but was just reporting what I saw. The female gender dominated all proceedings...

Interesting that you went through the firing line, kwani you had come with a bargain price tag?

Only thing to do is to kula and enjoy the whole thing, life must go on.

At 8/22/2008 4:19 pm , Blogger Proud Kikuyu Woman said...

Loved the way you put it!

At 8/22/2008 4:19 pm , Blogger Proud Kikuyu Woman said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 8/30/2008 8:33 pm , Blogger mwasjd said...

@proud kikuyu woman
Thanks, originally kikuyu ceremony but enveloped with the modernity of currency.

At 10/01/2008 6:32 pm , Blogger KK said...

LOL! never been too keen on investments.

At 10/06/2008 8:51 pm , Blogger mwasjd said...

Eh, investing is everywhere in life, you just have to be keen enough to notice, and wise enough to take advantage.


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